I don’t know if anyone finds their way here but as this is mainly a vent feel free to scroll on past this post.

I feel wrong even using #bemoresam to complain, it goes against everything he stands for but I just feel so low. I feel I should have gratitude for so much. I just drove past a house with a full white blossom tree, daffodils, tulips, clear blue sky and dug deep to find a shred of joy.

I’m exhausted.

Exhausted of gratitude

Exhausted by trying to be my best self in crappy circumstances

I’m furious

Furious by broken promises and empty gestures

I’m miserable

Miserable that I’m no-one’s priority

If I’m quiet it’s because I don’t know how to be open without shouting, sobbing, screaming.

I’m not sulking. I’m the gate keeper to a writhing turmoil that I daren’t let anyone see because there would be no taking it back and it’s not who I want to be.